Slowly But Surely...

       So I know that no one knows this about me. But basically I've been on a diet of some kind since I was 8.

        My mom put me on Herbalife at 8 to slim me down for pageants and singing. Then at 12 I went to a diet clinic and was prescribed diet, water and potassium pills. They also gave me the famous diet shake meals. For the first year I dropped like 50 lbs just from eating less from being on the pills. I hardly ever drank the shakes. I eventually learned that if I took a diet pill in the morning, then one at lunch, I really didn't need to eat except for once every two or three days. And my poor mom trusted me to follow the instructions on taking them, so she let me keep the pills myself. About eighth grade I was in first period and couldn't stop shaking. I hadn't eaten in a week, so my dad brought the shakes to the nurse and they made me drink one twice a day the whole year. Little did they know that was the ONLY thing I was eating...the whole year. I went on like this the end of my sophomore year in high school. The weight clinic got shut down yet I had another year's supply of Meds and shakes stored up. So basically in a nutshell, me, food, and my weight have always had a bazaar relationship. 

       Fast forward to today. I have a husband, my second marriage, who thinks I'm sexy and beautiful no matter how big I am. So with no bad motivation...I'm ashamed to say I weigh 240 lbs. So I have to retrain myself how to eat to get this weight off enough to be able to exercise. I've also been diagnosed with Fibromyalgia so losing the weight will help with the pain. 

        So there...I've come clean to the world. I've always known its an uphill battle but I've only started to feel the pain of it these past three years. I was always motivated by the need to be loved or approved of. My firefighter loves me for me. Not my weight or looks. So now I am doing this for me...and only me. 

......let us pray....

Becoming Self Suffcient

     Well it's Memorial Day weekend. My firefighter and I had planned on starting a vegetable garden. Well...tilling up a small piece of yard and planting. I have crooked squash and orange bell peppers growing in buckets but I was wanting to transplant them and grow stuff to be able to start a canning selection. BUT...the tiller we were borrowing from our landlord  decided it wanted the holiday weekend off, so it wouldn't start. So on to plan B!

       I've had a recipe for canning peaches I've been wanting to try so I started gathering everything I needed this past week. I figured since we couldn't plant today I could at least start canning. The recipe calls for boiling the peaches for 30 seconds then putting them in ice water and peeling the skins off. Well I don't have an ice maker OR ice trays...so I got inventive. I used a potatoe peeler!

It might not have made them as pretty as Dole makes them...but hey it got the job done. 

       So I got so into working on it all that I forgot to take pics as I went along. Oh well. So I cut them up NOT UNIFORM. Again...this is not Dole. And filled 3 pint jars. Then I started the syrup. An easy, light syrup that just needed to be brought to a rolling boil. I ladled the syrup into the jars and then got the bubbles out. Then the canning process started. 15 minutes later....

TA DA!!!!! Letting them cool while I rest my back. Not bad for a day that could have been messed up completely. Let's hear it for plan B's!!!!

   Happy Memorial Day!

Goodwill Adventures

                So I'm opening a dance studio again. Well, it's more than a dance studio...more like a performing arts studio. We will teach more than just dance and have music shows monthly too. So on a whim, I stopped at Goodwill with the kids to see if I could find anything to be used at my studio.
                I found The Wee One, or rather HE found a toy firefighter helmet that he LOVES...and for $.59 I love it too. My daughter found the card game, Would You Rather, for $.99, and my oldest son found a Kodak digital camera with docking station for $12.99. It's an older camera but he wanted something he could start wiht. He plans to work his way up to what I have, a Nikon D70. For the studio I found a 6ft long folding table to use for the music show nights. They're normally $45 around this area brand new. I found this one for $24.99!!! I will DEFINITELY get my money's worth out of it.
               Anyone else have any good finds?

The World of 4H

Well my daughter and stepdaughter decided a couple years ago they wanted to get into 4H. Back then they were in dance also and didn't really harp on me much about it. Well recently they asked again. So since we took the year off from dance I went ahead and researched it and My Firefighter and I put the girls in it. They wanted to raise an animal as a project. So we're raising rabbits.
We only have two rabbits,one per girl, so that we can ease them into the responsibility of taking care of an animal. Where we live in Texas it's nothin for someone to have a goat or a calf in their back yard. But I'm NOT gonna start off with a HUGE animal. Especially since our yard is not completely fenced in.
They've been doing good. We got the rabbits about a month ago and we've been to one rabbit show. My stepdaughter won Best of Breed for her Dutch buck (boy). She got a big trophy too. We were excited for her. We have our second competition this weekend in Louisiana. My Firefighter won't be traveling with us. He has to work for another Firefighter Saturday, so my mom will go with us. It's gonna be a little tense because my ex wife in law (husbands ex wife) will be coming and she doesn't want to get along with me, but everything will be fine. My mom and kids will be there with me. I'll let everyone know how we do!
Have a great weekend friends!

Walls Closing In...

My back went out AGAIN! UGH! It's all muscular and basically my body's way of telling me to slow down. Guess I've been pushing too hard...again.
On a good note...Christmas was great and the kids all loved their gifts. Shocker to have ALL FIVE like what they got! Gonna try and make that an every year occurrence.
Also taking steps toward owning my very own dance studio. I'll be signing a lease on a location by the end of January. Then it's getting the space ready for an open house that I'm going to do during National Dance Week in April. Working on staff to help out and merchandise to keep on file there.
Stepping out and it feels good! Wish me luck!

Getting Real

Ok...it's time I get real about losing weight. I'm the biggest I've ever been and I have all the health problems to prove it! I'm stinking tired of hurting and not being able to do things! I've had enough! So...this is how I'm going to keep myself accountable...I'm gonna post pics!
I used to love taking pics with my kids and my husband. Now I see myself and I just don't wanna smile. I'm ready for a family portrait,so if I start posting pics of me, I know y'all will be expecting pics of progress. So...here it goes!

A Different Outlook

                Ok.....so today is Black Friday.
                Fine....but I just don't shop Black Friday. In fact I've worked pretty much every Thanksgiving and Black Friday in the last 16 years...and I'm working again today. I woke up with a decision made.
                I've said in the past year that I was going to start getting healthy again and work on losing weight. I've failed. Excuses and responsibilities were put in the way of the hard work I have ahead of me. Today for some reason I woke up with a new determination.
                I'm not going to beat myself up if I can't workout EVERYDAY. I wish I had the time for that, but I just don't. However I will MAKE myself exercise or at least move in some way shape or form at least four times a week. I'm also going to fight the cravings like I used to and stick to healthy eating. I have Fibromyalgia and my pain days are becoming more frequent...so I have to buckle down now!
                And now it's time for the brutal truth...which will motivate me to continue working. My weight as of today is 236.6. Pray for me. This is going to be a journey and I'm ready for it!